One of the most profound skills an Alchemist can develop is their ability to be self-referencing. Whether in regards to their own spiritual practice, professional life, or personal relationships, the skill of tuning in and ascertaining how we feel (like whether a decision is in the highest good of all, and coming from a grounded, loving place), is undeniably essential for personal growth and transformation.

However, what if you doubt the answer you find? How do you know you're tapping into the collective wisdom of Spirit, as opposed to the egoic trappings of the mind? When is self referencing, self sabotaging? (Can you hear the voice of Carrie Bradshaw asking these questions?)

The greatest indicator is our old friend Friend. I say Friend because energies are neither good nor bad, they simply are, and it's only the lens through which we view attributes which give them the label of good or bad. Fear is a powerful teacher (great, just what we need, another teachable moment) designed to lead us toward the places we still need to grow, process, or work through. 

However, when we are IN fear, our capacity to think about others diminishes to zero. Fear makes us irrational, greedy, and selfish (not in the good way). When Fear is present, the True you is gone, making it impossible to make divine decisions. 

We then will often make judgments and decisions from the moral high ground of self referencing, only to then learn - after sometimes a slue of unpredictable consequences - that in fact we did not pass go and did not collect that $200. Congratulations, God is infinitely more forgiving to us than we are to each other, and the opportunity to make a different choice, will eventually emerge. 

So, what do you need to do?

Recognize, cultivate, and enjoy the All-Mighty Pause.

• Is there hesitancy in your decision-making? PAUSE ... you in Fear!
• Was there a shift in temperature, voice, body stance, and attitude.? PAUSE ... you in fear, child!
• Do you simply not want to do it and are mustering all the strength and courage to say "sure I'll hang out tonight" when all you want to do is crawl into bed and enjoy Netflix, guilt-free? PAUSE ... You are not alone ... and you're in Fear!

The fact that you are in Fear doesn't make you a bad person, doesn't mean you're behind the curve spiritually, nor is Fear something you must conquer.

Sit with it.
Acknowledge it.
Breathe slowly into it.
See what's there, if you want to. 

And remember to lighten up, it's only eternity.